Peter Gould was born early, and from a young age continued to get older. He moved inexorably to his formative years where additional age was attained.  Not resting he added to his total - becoming yet further along the track of human age.  Later he reflected that these achievements were salient to the attainment of yet more milestones of existence. 

His experience includes the discovery of strange things - later identified as fairly normal things - and following a sporting career as the half back of Notre Dame he became a mentor to grasshoppers and job title maker upper.

He looks good in the dark.  Sings well in a vacuum chamber.  Does volunteer work as a radioactive isotope and has not been known to commit serious crime in November. 

Otherwise, he's a little dodgy.  Don't approach him from behind, or from in front.  Wear a vest, a jockstrap, a chastity belt and those bandages you see on mummy's. 

Do not make eye contact unless your eye has leapt from its socket covered in contact adhesive.